Don’t queue, don’t order cocktails: The nine golden rules of British pubs

Will Hawkes Updated September 2, 2026 — 11:37am , first published September 2, 2026 — 5:00am

A German couple enters the Coeur de Lion, a delightful but compact pub in Bath. Finding no seats available in the bar – there are only five tables – they head upstairs on the advice of a fellow customer. Halfway up, the same customer shouts after them. “And you need to order at the bar!” A rapid volte-face.

Not everyone understands the unwritten rules that govern pubs, even the most basic ones. But there are rules. This isn’t just Anglo-Saxon stiffness: venues around the world, from French bistros to the hawker markets of Singapore, have their own guidelines, their own uncodified way of doing things.

British pubs are places to relax, but even relaxation needs rules. Some take it too far, like the Yorkshire pub I visited recently which covered its walls with tatty signs saying: “Mobile, Tablet and Laptop Free Zone!” and “NO SWEARING POLICY”. But rules are vital. These are the key ones (at least as far as I see it):

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Occasionally, you walk into a pub and find that a queue has formed. Some people think this is good because everyone gets served in order. It’s not good, though, because pubs are designed so that people wait along the bar. It’s the optimal use of the space available. There isn’t room for a queue in most good pubs, unless you think it’s enjoyable to constantly have people standing beside your table, their backsides at the same level as your face.

Unlike Americans, Brits haven’t made tips a non-negotiable part of a server’s salary. Hopefully they never will. Tipping is not mandatory in pubs; indeed, it can be fairly uncommon. But it’s a nice way to show appreciation for someone who is good at their job or working hard to ensure everyone has a good time. Traditionally this is done by adding “and one for yourself” at the end of an order. Don’t expect to see them drink it, though: they’ll usually “have it later”.

Anyone who uses public transport will have noted the rise of people playing tinny tunes or videos out loud on their phones. This sort of behaviour has started to seep into pubs, and it needs to be quickly stamped out. That doesn’t mean, however, that phones themselves are verboten : if you’re on your own and enjoying a quiet pint, they’re often a godsend. You can read a book on your phone if you’re virtuous, or just send pictures of your pint to jealous pals.

One of the reasons journalists like pubs (not the main one, admittedly) is that it’s the easiest place to have a relaxed conversation with a stranger. You find out all sorts of interesting things. You can take it too far, though: last month, at the Red Lion in Horley, Oxfordshire, I had to restrain myself from interjecting in a conversation about the member of Traffic who had recently died (Dave Mason RIP). It would have meant shouting across the pub, making me look odder than I actually am.

A lot of pubs offer cocktails. I understand why: there’s a good margin on them and pubs need to make money, particularly in this economy. But you still mustn’t order them.