Want to be friendly and chat on a flight? Please don’t sit next to me

There’s a chance this was all done for attention, for clicks and likes and clout, and I really hope that’s true. Because the alternative is too frightening to consider.

I saw a post on social media recently from a perky, enthusiastic guy called Khong who was sharing with the world the reason he always chooses the middle seat when he flies.

Now, as background, you should understand that the middle seat is objectively the worst seat on the plane. Surely we all know this by now. In the middle you don’t get the views of the window or the easy access of the aisle. You have nothing to lean against, and nowhere to stretch your legs.

You’re never even sure if you’ll get the armrests, even though in my opinion the person in the middle seat should get priority, given everything else in their world really sucks right now. But other passengers don’t always respect that notion. Sometimes you’re just squished in and there’s nothing you can do about it.

So anyway, what’s Khong up to? Why does he claim to always book the middle seat when he flies?

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“For the next eight, 10, sometimes 15 hours, you’re stuck between two people,” he writes. “It makes starting a conversation extremely easy.

“Just think about it. Flying internationally alone already isn’t something everyone does. Everyone is going there for a reason. It’s always fun to find out why.

“Not every conversation changes your life. But when the cost is just a question, why wouldn’t you take it?”

Sir, I love your enthusiasm and your optimism and please for the love of God don’t sit next to me on a flight. Please don’t book the middle seat when I’m safely tucked into the window, or luxuriating on the aisle.

I don’t like to talk to people on planes. I don’t want to have a conversation with a stranger. I want to dive into the worst TV shows imaginable and maybe drink a tiny bottle of awful wine and get some sleep and hopefully just get to the other end of my journey unbothered.

Once I’m off the plane, great. I’m all for it. I love meeting people. It’s a huge part of the travel experience and it forms part of pretty much all my favourite memories of journeys past. This is the way to learn about culture, about life.

But on the plane? I know some people really like this, and will berate me for giving up the opportunity to meet fascinating people from all walks of life who just happen to be sitting next to me for a few hours.

I’ve been trying to think about what the difference is. Why would you like meeting strangers, talking to new people and learning their stories when you’re off the plane, but start sweating with anxiety at the thought of the person next to you striking up a conversation mid-air?