Families waiting for news from Nepal and Tibet will feel both hope and despair – and this can change minute to minute

The surging death count from the devastating flash floods that hit Nepal and Tibet on August 26 has reached 1,050 .

At least 42 Australians are among more than 4,000 people still “unaccounted for”.

But this phrase “unaccounted” – frequently used in media reports – can split the problem too simply: people are either lost or yet to be found.

For many families waiting for news, this gap between uncertainty and despair is ambiguous – and it’s agonising.

There is no guarantee news will ever come.

So, how can people missing loved ones make sense of this traumatic experience while the search continues? And what kind of support will they need? I have been working with families of missing people for more than 25 years.

Here’s what I’ve learnt about their experiences of “ ambiguous loss ”.

What is ambiguous loss? Ambiguous loss describes an ongoing loss without a resolution or closure .

It can affect how people feel and behave, and the kind of support they will need.

While waiting for news of their loved ones in Nepal and Tibet, people will be grappling with the shock and trauma of how the disappearance unfolded, and the scale of the disaster.

They will also be facing uncertainty and fear about how long they will be on this path.

When living with an ambiguous loss, it is common to oscillate between hopeful thinking and moments of hopelessness.

People may feel frozen to the time they learned the news, replay their last conversations with that person, or repetitively think up new ways to search and find them.

Families in Australia may also feel helpless being so far away, especially as the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade has asked people to reconsider travelling to the affected areas to look for people who are out of contact.