‘No one in your corner’: Sarah fears for what Sydney’s alleged sexual assault victims are about to endure

When I meet founder and advocate Sarah Rosenberg at the Bonython Cafe in Paddington for lunch, it is an unseasonably warm winter’s day. The cafe has a retractable roof. When the sun shines, it can be rolled back, so patrons can bask in the warmth while they eat, work or talk. On this day it is open, and leaves half our table in sunlight and half in shade. It is apt for the conversation we are about to have: one that spans the light and the dark.

Very early in our lunch it becomes clear that Rosenberg has grown accustomed to lightening dark subjects. As a young woman who was almost crushed by the criminal justice system after reporting a rape to police, but who is determined to generate support for change, she has become an expert in putting people at ease with humour and a natural vivacity.

She says striking that balance – the light, the shade – is a defining feature of her adult life. “I think the people around me would tell you I’m the happiest person they know. It’s like everything is a joke. Like there’s humour all day, every day. I’m making friends wherever I go, I’m patting all the animals, feeling the sun on my face. I’m so grateful for it. It’s also super contradictory.”

Our lunch falls in the same week three Scots College students were charged with aggravated sexual assault after allegedly raping a 14-year-old girl in an eastern suburbs alley, and five Sydney Swans players were stood down from the club for the remainder of their playing season for breaching club standards. Allegations of sexual assault are being investigated by Victoria Police. No arrests have been made nor charges laid.

The day after we meet, news breaks of another alleged gang rape of a 17-year-old girl by three 17-year-old boys, two of whom are students from St Gregory’s College. Police will allege they abused the girl in a multi-hour assault at a home near Campbelltown after a football match.

As Rosenberg watched the headlines she was most concerned about what the coverage obscured. Calls to action abounded: for institutional change, for prevention, to address misogynistic rape culture. But advice on how to guide vulnerable complainants through the confronting and traumatising criminal legal process – the help Rosenberg so desperately needed – was glaringly absent.

“I’ve just seen nothing about the multiple hers in this instance. It’s all just been like: ‘we have to stop the next generation of misogynists’. What about the harm they’ve already [allegedly] created right now? The [complainants] … that are already here, that’s just missing … And we can hold both.”

The girls and, potentially, the women in those cases are “about to go through the worst process ever”, she says. “Prevention and justice are not competing priorities. We have to care about what happens once violence has already [allegedly] occurred, not just about preventing it from happening in the first place.”

The Bonython is a quiet spot with a hanging garden and an entrance you’d easily miss if you weren’t paying attention. Aside from the kind waiter, who introduces himself as Jack, and a couple of workers tapping away at their laptops, we’re alone. I am grateful for the quiet environment.