Families need to openly talk to children about misogyny, consent and sexual violence. Here’s how to start | Stephanie Wescott and Jane Gilmore for the Conversation

All family members should feel safe to raise concerns, ask questions and cover topics without fear of shutdown or reprimand

There have been multiple high-profile alleged incidents of sexual violence against women and girls in news headlines this month. Some of them involve teenage boys.

Families might find themselves having – or thinking they need to have – discussions with their children about consent and sexual violence.

We know parents have an important role to play in teaching their children about respectful sex and healthy relationships – and countering harmful messages they may see online.

Research suggests it’s important for parents to feel confident when talking about consent and sexual violence so they can be clear about information and answer questions. Confidence also leads to better emotional regulation during these conversations. Ensuring you have a good level of knowledge yourself can support your level of confidence.

Use accurate words instead of euphemisms and, particularly with teenagers, don’t try to soften the discussion by hiding from the realities of violence.

According to the latest Australian Bureau of Statistics data , nearly 30% of all sexual assaults reported to police in 2024 were against girls between 10 and 17 years old. The number of sexual assaults recorded nationally in 2024 also increased by 10% from 2023.

Children and teenagers need to know the facts and risks, and to be in no doubt that their parents will support them through any experience.

Families need to have open conversations when it comes to talking to children and young people about misogyny, rape and sexual violence. This means all family members should feel safe to raise concerns, ask questions and cover topics without fear of shutdown or reprimand.

A good starting point is to ask children what they have read about in recent media reports , what they think about the issues and what their friends have said. This provides an opening to important conversations that are not just about young people’s own personal experiences.

There’s been so much in the news this week about [incident]. Have you seen it?

It’s important children and teenagers don’t feel as if they’re being confronted when adults initiate conversations.

Instead of a more formal, sit-down discussion, you might choose to start a conversation in a more casual setting such as in the car or while doing chores .

While parents should be clear about their values (for example, violence against women is never OK), asking questions and helping young people reach their own conclusions can be more effective than giving instructions. These questions might include: