My darling 16-year-old daughter has turned into a monster and I’m terrified | Ask Rebecca

Ask Rebecca is smart, honest advice to readers’ questions about life, family and relationships by columnist Rebecca Eckler. Got a question for Rebecca? Submit it anonymously on the form here . You can also send an email to [email protected].

My incredible 16-year-old daughter has turned into a monster. From birth until 14, she was kind, lovable, helpful, understanding and an amazing person. I’m a single mother, and it’s just the two of us, but we managed to live together peacefully and happily. I work extremely hard to earn enough to pay the rent, bills and necessities. She’s always been grateful.

Two years ago, she called me at work and said she wanted to hurt herself. I took her to the hospital immediately. After that, she started showing small signs of anger and frustration, but nothing we couldn’t handle. When she’d get upset, she’d come to me, and we’d talk it out.

But when she needed parenting, I was often too delicate, afraid to upset her and make her depressed again. Now she’s constantly sulking around, won’t clean her room, won’t help with chores, won’t talk to me at all, won’t not even say hello. She refuses to speak to any professional. She claims she’s fine, but she’s not.

I’m upset, tired, and frustrated. Worst of all, I’m terrified of saying something that will send her over the edge. Please tell me this changes — I miss my darling daughter so much.— Mother on Eggshells

I think she’s 16. And I say that with enormous compassion for anyone living with one right now. Sixteen-year-olds are not an easy species to live with.

I should also say the obvious but important thing. I’m an advice columnist, not a mental-health professional. If at any point you believe your daughter is in immediate danger of harming herself, call 911 or get her to the nearest ER.