Worried about overthinking? Therapist Jeffrey Meltzer shares 3 ways it controls your life, and what to do about it

If you have the habit of overthinking things, you are likely to be familiar with the feeling of regret that usually comes afterwards. Taking quick decisions becomes a nightmare, and people often call you out over it. Getting over the habit is no easy task, irrespective of how difficult it makes your life.

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Taking to Instagram on September 11, Florida-based therapist Jeffrey Meltzer highlighted three ways in which overthinking can control our lives, and what we can do to protect ourselves from it.

When a person is afraid of getting something wrong, they can think about it so much that they become paralysed and delay the very thing they need to do. “Overthinking can feel productive, but it often helps you postpone uncertainty and the regret you fear a mistake might create,” explained Jeffrey.

The solution is to stop trying to guarantee the right decision. “Instead, ask yourself, if this goes badly, can I handle how I'll feel? Learning that you can tolerate the emotion makes it easier to act without certainty,” noted the therapist.

In the words of the therapist, “Each time overthinking prevents you from making a decision, you lose an opportunity to prove that you can choose and handle the outcome. Then your confidence drops, making the next decision feel even riskier and feeding the overthinking cycle.”

To break the cycle, a person needs to accept that no amount of information can guarantee the correct decision. “Then deliberately revisit choices you handled well, including perfect choices you recovered from,” shared Jeffrey. “Confidence will grow when you trust your ability to respond even when the outcome isn't exactly what you were hoping for.”

When every choice must feel safe before one is willing to make it, a person passes up opportunities or remains in situations that no longer fit because uncertainty feels too risky. This creates a paradox, pointed out the therapist.

“Overthinking tries to protect you from regret. Yet, it can create the longer-lasting regret of never trying,” he stated.

“The solution is to accept that regret is possible on either side of a decision,” noted Jeffrey. “You might regret taking the chance, but you could also regret never taking it. Accepting that risk allows you to make choices based on the life you want instead of the regret you fear.”

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.

Jeffrey Meltzer is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor based in Florida. He graduated with a Master's in Mental Health Counselling from the University of South Florida and has been providing therapy services for over seven years.

Debapriya Bhattacharya is a Content Producer at Hindustan Times. He started his career in 2022, working in newsrooms in beats like education, US news, trending stories, and entertainment.