No shame in the Domain Name game: DNS is doomed, literally

What is DNS? That's right, it's a database.

You can disagree with me but you would be wrong.

What can you put in a database? Strings, ints (and you learn the difference right quick if your AWS account ID has a leading zero!), JSON objects, coordinates; some of the databases out there have some pretty esoteric types.

PostgreSQL supports circle, a polygon, a macaddr8, and a tsquery.

Oracle will store a ROWID and your dignity.

In a word, databases store data.

Can you put answers in a database? Well sure; you could record that "3 + 2 is equal to 5" and store that answer.

You can do the same with comparison operators; "3 is larger than 2" and so on.

Take it a step further and you've built something with your database: a remarkably inconvenient calculator.

So now we've established that you can store arithmetic and decisions in a database.

And what can we do with those things? That's right, we can follow instructions! Good job! And what does following instructions require? Generally, memory; a place to store your numbers, your instructions, and which instruction comes next.

If only we had a place to store those things.

Oh right, we do; we have a database! Now connect those lookups together.

Read an instruction, look up an answer, save the result, repeat as needed.