‘And you will be the People’s Earl’ – Charles Spencer’s Swan Song: Diana, My Sister, digested by John Crace

The earl on his globally lauded eulogy for Diana, King Charles’s sausage fingers and toxic Raine, topped off with a lavish sprinkling of adverbs Cheers cried out throughout the land.

Halley’s comet made an unscheduled appearance in the ethereal night sky.

In very heaven, angelic choirs rang out.

A saviour had been born.

A light to lighten the world.

But enough about me.

For this paragraph at least.

In my universally acclaimed funeral address , I aimed to speak for my sister.

The real Diana.

For only I truly knew her.

She had the heart of a lion.

And I had a glut of cliches.

Yet when Diana had swept so triumphantly into the arena of royal life, I was but a callow youth awash with hormones and gripped by the self-centredness of adolescence.

Nothing much has changed.