Netflix’s Ghoulish ‘Wonka’ Competition Is an Abomination

Courtesy of Netflix “People of the world, hold onto your hats, for the greatest competition on Earth is about to begin,” Gene Wilder says in the opening minutes of Netflix’s new reality series, Wonka’s The Golden Ticket .

Except it’s not actually Gene Wilder.

He’s been dead for a decade.

“The voice of Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka has been recreated with the consent of Mr.

Wilder’s estate,” on-screen text tells us, as if a family greedily leeching every penny they can get from a dead man is something that audiences will be totally fine with.

Wonka’s The Golden Ticket features 24 competitors, including 12 golden ticket winners and their 12 companions—best friends, father/daughters, brothers, grandpa and grandson, etc.

The game’s prize is “a lifetime supply of money,” which of course isn’t really true.

It’s a six-figure salary for 30 years, which is “about three million dollars,” according to Robot Wonka, because apparently AI can’t do simple math.

It’s vague.

Only one person actually wins, which makes the companions utterly useless and makes you wonder why they’re there at all, besides easily manufactured drama.

The narration is constant, and Robot Wonka deadpans every line delivery, because that’s all the AI voice is capable of doing.

Moments of excitement sound exhausted.

Moments of reflection sound lifeless.

It’s an embarrassing and easily avoidable drag that sucks the life out of the proceedings at every opportunity.