My 19-year-old moved across the country with 4 days' notice. What he packed made it easier to let him go.

The author's son (not pictured) brought his teddy with him when he went to college.

FatCamera/Getty Images My oldest son told me on a Monday that he was moving 3,000 miles away that Thursday.

I understood his need to leave because I'd made a similar move at the same age.

When I visited his new home, I discovered he'd brought the Christmas bear he'd had since childhood.

My oldest son was my only child for three years.

I think that built a bond that doesn't exist with any of his four siblings who had to share me from day one with an expanding brood of children.

I can honestly say, I do not have a favorite child , but it was this oldest one who taught me how to be a mother.

That included how to let go when the time came.

At the age of 19 after an inauspicious start to college, he moved cross-country to San Francisco, a frequent transition for kids who grow up in Boston.

Since he was the first of my five to depart home, it hit me pretty hard; but it was clear he needed a change and I willingly co-signed his decision.

I did the same thing at the same age My son informed me of his impending move on a Monday.

He left that Thursday.

I didn't discourage him.

I'd done the same thing at the same age.