How to Break Up With Your Therapist Without Ghosting Them

Elizaveta Starkova—Getty Images Your therapist has probably encouraged you to have difficult conversations , advocate for your needs, and resist the urge to avoid things that make you anxious .

That’s all well and good—until, one day, the difficult conversation is with them.

If therapy doesn’t feel useful anymore, or if you’ve realized that you and your therapist simply aren’t the right match, it can be tempting to outsource the breakup to the cancel-appointment button.

Yet unless there’s an ethical, boundary, or safety concern, experts say it’s usually worth having a conversation with your therapist before ending the relationship.

It might improve the therapy.

It might also help you find someone better suited to you, or simply allow you to leave without feeling guilty about ghosting the person who knows exactly why you tend to ghost people .

Speaking up could also save you from having to begin the search from scratch.

“Your therapist could be the gateway to your next great therapist,” says Ryan Culkin, a licensed professional counselor and chief counselor officer at Thriveworks , which provides therapy and psychiatry services.

They might be able to adjust their approach—or recommend someone who would suit you better.

Even if you already know you’re finished, breaking the news doesn’t require a dramatic confrontation or an elaborate defense.

Here’s how to decide whether it’s time to call it quits—and how to do it painlessly.

Figure out what kind of discomfort you’re feeling Good therapy isn’t necessarily easy.

“Sometimes therapy can be really uncomfortable, but it can be incredibly productive,” says Eli Kraiem, a clinical psychologist in New York.

A therapist might challenge an assumption you’re attached to, point out a pattern you’d rather not see, or encourage you to do something that scares you.