I'm raising my kids to be kind, but I don't want them to be people-pleasers

The author said she realized teaching her kids (not pictured) to cooperate isn't always the best plan.

StockPlanets/Getty Images I thought it was important to teach my three kids obedience.

Now that they're older, I know it's important to teach them boundaries, too.

When one of my children respectfully says no to something, I make it a point to validate them and their choice.

As soon as children learn to follow instructions, we start teaching them obedience .

I know that's what I did with my kids.

I asked them to share their things, take turns, and compromise even when they're not always ready to do so willingly.

I pushed them to cooperate not only because I felt it was the right thing to do, but because I wanted to keep the peace and be seen as a good parent.

Sadly, it seems society only sees agreeable, generous children as good ones, so parents raise them with a give-in mindset.

I followed that path until I realized just how my actions were shaping my children's personalities.

Now I am strongly focused on improving myself while developing a parenting approach tailored to what works best for my children.

I wasn't seeing the whole picture At some point, I realized that constantly pushing my children to say yes to everything, acting like good children are meant to, is affecting their personal boundaries .

Do you have a hot take on a common parenting belief? Email Jennifer Beck Goldblatt at [email protected] to share your experience with Business Insider.

When my children were not allowed to say no, I noticed they felt uncomfortable, frustrated, and even angry.