I coach my son's soccer team. I wanted more quality time, but realized other kids get the best version of me.

The author (not pictured) coaches his son's soccer team.

Getty Images I wanted more time with my 9-year-old son, so I decided to coach his soccer team.

On paper, it makes sense — we do spend a lot more time in the same place.

However, I realized that other kids were getting all my patience and attention.

Last year, I signed up to coach my son's soccer team for the most obvious reason a parent ever does anything: to spend more time with my kid.

The math made sense.

Two practices and a game every week, all of it with my son, on top of the drives there and back.

On paper, coaching was hours of togetherness I'd otherwise never get, especially now that he's 9 — almost 10! — and getting to the age where he doesn't always want to hang out with me.

But after just one season, I realized he was getting the worst version of me.

On the field, I'm not his dad The thing I didn't account for is that when I'm coaching, I'm not his father.

I'm the person running the session.

For that hour and a half, I'm managing a dozen other kids, watching the one who wandered off, encouraging the one about to cry, and keeping the two who won't stop talking from derailing the drill.

I'm also managing the parents (and their expectations) on the sideline, feeling them silently judge me and whether their kid is getting enough attention and playing time.

My own son is somewhere in that group, and the uncomfortable truth is that he often gets less of me than the others, not more.