An open marriage somehow leads to regret, woman hooks best friend up with sister's ex & dumb divorce excuses

I am coming to you this week from vacation with a heavy heart.

It's not how I wanted to start this week's True Romance , but I don't have much of a choice.

I go where the romance leads me.

This week, on a Wednesday of all days, it was announced that Dakota Johnson and Role Model are no longer together.

TMZ confirmed the stomach-churning, tear-jerking news.

Not only have the couple broken up, they haven’t been together for some time.

Again, this isn't how I wanted to kick this week off.

ZERO BS.

JUST DAKICH.

TAKE THE DON'T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD.

DOWNLOAD NOW! Take a moment.

Do one of those extended eye close half squeeze things that helps clear the tears if needed.

Let's try to make something of this week's column.

Something that can take us through the rest of the week.