The Former Intern Turned into a Cool Employee. Then She Made a Joke.

Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here . (It’s anonymous!)

I’m a team manager at a PR agency, and I’ve been inadvertently drawn into a standoff between my fellow manager (“Barb”) and an intern-turned-employee (“Angie”) who works under a different manager. Angie is accomplishing a lot of cool things for her team, but she recently made an off-color joke that sounded like a dig at our team. Barb spoke to Angie’s manager about it, and he said he would resolve it.

But now Angie is being very passive-aggressive at the office. I’m talking, like, pretending not to see us in the room and giving us the silent treatment. She even slammed her things around last time we had to collaborate. I personally have to work with her at a big event next week. How should I approach her? It feels embarrassing to have to deal with a bully who was literally an intern until last year!

I had to read your letter a few times to understand what was happening here, because at first I couldn’t really believe it! Angie sounds incredibly immature—not just for how she’s acting now, but for making an off-color joke in the first place. (Very Boomer of her!) I personally would keep things totally professional on your end and just act toward her the same way you would anyone else you have to deal with professionally. Her response will be telling, and it’s probably worth documenting any passive-aggressive (or aggressive-aggressive!) actions she takes in response. I’m sure you’re not the only person to notice her behavior around the office, and in my experience, people like this either change their ways quickly or are pushed out. We have enough to deal with in our lives without having to navigate this kind of pettiness at work.

One thing that I do want to mention that I picked up on in your letter: You mentioned Angie’s former-intern status twice. I have to wonder if there’s a tiny part of you that feels like she hasn’t quite earned her place, and you still think of her as the “intern-turned-employee.” Just something to watch out for! Many years ago I was an intern at a now-long-defunct magazine, In the years that followed, one of the editors I worked under would periodically reach out via email about various work-related things, and every single time he would make some comment about how it was soooo crazy how I had been an intern! Like he just needed to keep reminding me that all those years ago, I had been an intern and he had been an editor. It really rubbed me the wrong way. I could totally be projecting here, of course, but I think sometimes it’s all too easy for people to get stuck in other people’s minds as “the intern” or “the assistant,” even if they’ve left those roles behind long ago. If that’s not at all what’s happening here, great! And either way, she shouldn’t be acting the way she is. I hope your event goes smoothly and she is able to start behaving more professionally, for everyone’s sake.

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