My Husband Is Usually Game for All My Out There Sex Ideas. But There’s No Telling How He’ll React to My Latest.

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Me (female-to-male) and my husband (cis male) have a beautiful marriage, relationship, and sex life. We’re most certainly not vanilla, but also not crazy explorative (nothing public/out of the house). I bring up most of the new kinky ideas, but he’s always happy to go along with them, does it excitedly, and is very good about saying “no” if he doesn’t want to do it. The problem is I have one kink I’m yet to explore with him.

I have a piss kink/watersports kink, but I have NO idea how to bring that up or how he’d react. I have a feeling he wouldn’t make me feel bad about it, even if he wanted to say no, but it’s just so awkward to bring up. If he does say yes or that he’d be interested, are there any safety concerns we need to think of?

Your trepidation makes sense. While piss play isn’t the most uncommon kink, it nonetheless exists in the realm of taboo for many, as it involves bodily waste that most of us were taught is dirty from a young age. If it feels too awkward to bring up to your husband, you need to decide which is worse: talking about it or never giving yourself the chance to experience it with him. If this is a strong enough kink, you’ll push through the awkwardness.

You don’t have to present this as something that is part of your sexuality, just something that you are curious about trying. If that’s too dishonest—if you have tried it and are well past the point of curious—you can say you’re curious about trying it with him . That is true. I want to be clear that there’s nothing wrong with having this kink, it’s just easier to talk about this stuff without the burden of identity and what it all “means.” If this kind of play can be viewed as just behavior, it can be evaluated and taken up or denied with a lesser risk of judgment. From what you describe, it doesn’t sound like your husband is out to judge you, but I think that’s probably at the heart of your fear.

Regarding safety, it’s generally advisable to avoid drinking urine. That said, people have been doing it for years, often for supposed health benefits. Urine may contain bacteria, toxins the body is filtering out, as well as traces of medication. It’s a good idea to avoid consuming these. One study found oral intake of urine to be associated with “nausea, vomiting, headache, palpitations, diarrhea or fever.” Many people into piss play will take urine into their mouth but spit it out before they swallow it. Will it kill you if swallowed? Almost certainly not, but since you asked for safety tips, these are things to keep in mind.

Because pee can have a strong odor, many opt to play in the shower/bath or outside so it doesn’t get into fabric. You can discuss ahead of time who wants to pee and who wants to be the pee-ee. Maybe you take turns. The one getting pissed on should dictate where on their body they’d like it to land. For a previous column on piss play, I reached out to some connoisseurs. You can read their tips here .