My Baby Accidentally, Um, “Styled” My Husband’s Aunt’s Hair. He’s Acting Like It’s All My Fault!

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

My husband “Matt’s” great aunt, “Judy,” is bald as a billiard ball and incredibly sensitive about it.

Last month she was visiting us and our 14-month-old, “Mandy,” when our daughter grabbed a handful of Judy’s “hair” and pulled the wig clean off her head. We had our neighbors over as well, and she was flabbergasted. No one made a big deal of it, but Judy was beside herself and left immediately. Now she is demanding that I apologize for what Mandy did because I supposedly “haven’t been raising her right.” Mandy is a baby and didn’t know any better! The trouble is that my mother-in-law has been on my ass demanding that I apologize for her aunt getting embarrassed. Matt thinks I should just do it to get them to shut up. Judy and my mother-in-law can be ignored, right?

In 2006, one of my best friends pulled off my wig at a party. I had a full head of hair underneath and the wig was stupid…and I still get annoyed when I think about it! I would imagine this was a devastating event for Judy, so much so that she and your mother-in-law are not being reasonable about it. Just say “sorry.”If she won’t let it go after that, then that’s her issue. But you should absolutely apologize when your child does anything to cause harm to someone else, even if it’s an accident. Saying “sorry” is free!

I have two adult daughters and a 14-year-old stepdaughter. When we married two years ago, my wife and I agreed to keep our parenting and finances separate beyond the common household funds. At the time, my wife was making more than me. Well, my mother recently died and left me her beach-side condo. I planned to sell it and split the money between my two daughters and myself.