Hayden Panettiere’s Tragedy Foretold in Harrowing Memoir

Kai Pfaffenbach / REUTERS Actress Hayden Panettiere was just 36 years old when she was found deceased from an apparent overdose on Sunday.

The tell-tale signs of her premature demise were on display in her harrowing memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning , which hit shelves just three months ago.

Panettiere had just completed a press tour to promote the book, in which she describes her battles with addiction, her relationship with her now 11-year-old daughter, and alleges predatory behavior from some of Hollywood’s elite.

The actress, who was best known for her roles in Scream, Heroes, and Nashville , as well as her childhood roles in Remember the Titans and soap operas Guiding Light and One Life to Live , wrote in her book that she believes her early onset success may have attracted “trauma” into her life.

For example, while playing 8-year-old Lizzie Spaulding on Guiding Light , Panettiere said her mother advised her to imagine “the most horrific thing that could happen to an 8-year-old,” in order to “trigger tears.” The actress reflected in the book, decades later, “I’ve often wondered whether—unintentionally—I’ve brought on my traumas because I’m wired to think they’re good for me,” as her heartbreaking performances earned her acclaim.

Panettiere’s estranged mother said in a statement in response that her daughter’s anecdotes were “partially to sell books.” Still, many elements of the late star’s story rang true to fans—like when she details her terrifying account of being “instructed by a “friend” to perform sexual acts on an older actor when she was 18, and trapped on a boat.

“She physically put me in the bed next to this undressed man who was very famous,” Panettiere recalled while discussing the incident on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast.

The man reacted to her presence “like this was just an average day for him,” she wrote.

Elsewhere in the book, she recalls another incident in which an “Oscar-winning actor and director” approached her and exposed himself when she was 19.

“This well-respected, award-winning actor’s testicles were hanging out from his unzipped fly,” she wrote.

The star reflected, “Even though I felt I could make healthy decisions, safe decisions [at that age], I wasn’t capable of being fully aware of what was going on around me.” She chose not to name the men in question, however, telling The Hollywood Reporter, “They’re people I could run into again,” she said.

“I didn’t want to put myself in that position.