I gave up freelancing for a steady paycheck. My first summer as an employed mom is chaos.

The author says summer is chaotic now that she is working and not freelancing.

Courtesy of the author I gave up freelancing after the instability became overwhelming.

Two part-time jobs give me a reliable paycheck and schedule.

My first summer as an employed mom has brought childcare stress, screen time, and plenty of guilt.

Ever since becoming a mom 12 years ago, most of my work has been freelance .

Being self-employed has always been the only way I could work, as my partner has no flexibility in his job, we haven't had family who could consistently watch the kids, and I couldn't afford to put my three kids in childcare.

If I wanted to make money and keep my résumé up to date, working for myself was the only option.

It gave me the flexibility I needed.

I struggled to get freelance work However, last November, running my own freelance journalism business became overwhelming.

I watched as publication after publication laid off staff, leading to increased competition in the freelance market.

I was struggling to get work, struggling to cope with rejection, struggling with inconsistency.

I knew the time had come to abandon self-employment and seek full-time employment instead.

My kids were all in school, and after school, it would be fine to just watch TV or play games until I could shut off my computer.

Fortunately, I found two part-time jobs fairly quickly — working to support victims of domestic abuse and also reporting for a publication about the South Wales valleys, where I now call home.