Trump Suffers Unhinged Green Slime Midnight Meltdown

Kevin Lamarque/Reuters Donald Trump’s obsession with the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool resurfaced at 11:32 p.m. on Thursday, in a big self-own on Truth Social.

As part of his ongoing “beautification” of Washington D.C., the president ordered the relining of the pool with an “American flag blue” material that soon peeled off, as green algae bloomed, and the pool had to be drained again.

It has since become one of the 80-year-old’s many bugbears, and with midnight approaching on Thursday, he posted an AI-slop image of it in glorious blue, featuring an outline of his own face.

But there was one big problem.

Of all the colors he could have chosen for his self-portrait, he went with bright green—the same as the Scenedesmus algae that invaded the pool and kneecapped his disastrous project.

Trump had claimed his shoddy renovations, rushed through on a no-bid deal handed to Atlantic Industrial Coatings, would turn it “American flag blue” in time for July Fourth.

But the $14 million renovation soon peeled off , with sheets of the new liner left floating in the water.

The administration went on the offensive, crying vandalism and pressing charges against several people, including former Olympic canoeist David Hearn, whom they said was seen tearing at it.

By late July, the charges were dropped, with a document filed by U.S.

Attorney for Washington, D.C.

Jeanine Pirro saying the damage was instead “the result of flawed installation by the contractor.” Trump was furious with Pirro, telling reporters he “disagreed 100 percent” with her, said she “folded like a cheap umbrella” and added, “I think she choked.” After the charges were dropped, Hearn’s lawyers said that Trump “owes Mr.

Hearn an apology.” He had previously told the BBC that he “didn’t destroy, rip, tear, peel, or remove any part.” In August, Trump finally admitted that the job had at least partially been a botch.

“As with many jobs, there was also some contractor error done by rushing the job,” he said in a post on Truth Social.

As repairs continue, Trump has now found a new scapegoat: every president for the last 100 years—except himself.