My role is changing now that my kids are teens, and stepping back isn't always easy

The author's relationship with her sons is changing as they get older.

Courtesy of Kristina Wright I have two teenage sons, and in recent years, my role as their parent has changed.

I do less for them now and let them figure things out on their own.

Doing less isn't always easy, and it's been a lesson for all of us.

Every day, I walk past my younger son's backpack.

It is still sitting by the back door, exactly where he dropped it on the last day of school in May, a sagging black reminder that summer break is almost over.

Inside are probably crumpled assignments, battered binders, a few pencils with their erasers rubbed off, and whatever mysterious debris accumulates inside a teenager's backpack.

I can only hope there's no food in there.

A few years ago, I would have dealt with it already.

I would have emptied the backpack, sorted through the papers, thrown away the trash, and made sure everything was ready for the new school year.

I would have tried to turn my son's forgotten chore into a life lesson about organization and responsibility.

Now I walk past his backpack and I consider saying something, but then I don't.

Because this is a different kind of life lesson and it's entirely mine to own: knowing when to step in and when to take a step back.

My sons have different needs now When my sons, now 14 and 16, were little, parenting felt like an exercise in constant intervention.