My son went to culinary school, and my daughter majors in theater. It's not what I planned for either of them, and that's OK.

The author (left) supported her son when he went to culinary school.

Courtesy of VaNessa Duplessie My son went to culinary school after high school, and my daughter is majoring in theater.

It's not what I expected for either one of my kids.

I've realized that I need to help them become who they want to be — not who I dreamed they'd be.

When my son was in sixth grade , he looked at me one afternoon in our garage while I was unloading groceries and said something I never expected to hear.

He said, "Mom, you're not going to make me go to college, are you?" I paused, unsure of the answer.

He was 12 years old.

College wasn't exactly around the corner, and I figured he'd change his mind a dozen times before then.

Looking back, he wasn't telling me what he wanted to do.

He was telling me who he was.

School never energized him the way it would later energize his younger sister.

He was always moving, talking to people, and happiest when he was doing something with his hands.

While other kids thrived in a classroom, he came alive in fast-paced environments where he could jump in and work alongside others.

Like many parents, I had already written a script in my mind for what success was supposed to look like: graduate from high school , go to college, and build a career.