Books Insider: A conversation on the death of conversations

Jessica Pons for BI Books Insider is a regular feature from Dan Slater about the latest and best books in business and self improvement.

Each month, through essays and interviews, Dan will introduce you to today's most fascinating authors.

America is in the throes of a "silent epidemic: a connection crisis," writes best-selling author Vanessa Van Edwards.

We're hanging out less .

We're talking to chatbots and agents more than we talk to people.

The share of US adults who say they have no close friends rose from 3% in 1990 to 12% in 2023.

We've lost the subtle art of conversation.

Van Edwards, who has more than a million followers on Instagram and runs an Austin-based behavioral research lab called Science of People, wants to help us reconnect.

In her new book , "Conversation: How to Connect with Anyone and Make Every Interaction Count," she writes: "'I like you' might be the three most powerful words you can gift someone else.

Why? Because we're terrified of being unlikable.

And research shows that we grossly underestimate how much people like us." If venturing an "I like you" feels weird, that's okay.

Exposure to social risk decreases our sensitivity to rejection and strengthens our confidence in connection.

Confidence "is not the absence of discomfort — it's feeling awkward and doing it anyway," writes Van Edwards.

We all have "conversational power," she argues, and in "Conversation," Van Edwards' third book, she offers a blueprint for building it.