How to Recognize and Ask for Help When You Need It

—VladSt—Getty Images We all know at least one or two adults who like to have things done for them: someone to run their errands, drive them to the doctor, pick up their medications and groceries.

My mother was like this.

I was what is referred to as the parentified child , taking care of her since I was a young girl until she died seven years ago.

I was so put off by my mother’s complete reliance on other people that I went in the opposite direction; I became a psychologist who strongly prefers to do everything for herself.

I learned over time that the problem with excessive self-reliance or stoicism is that it isn’t always, or even often, effective.

As a psychologist, I had to learn and teach myself, as well as my patients, the importance of asking for help when one needs it.

As I tell my patients (and as I learned to tell myself), we do ourselves a disservice by not asking for and accepting help when we need it.

No one can go through life alone.

Humans are social beings , and we are designed to be interconnected with one another.

Being able to effectively ask for and receive help also makes us stronger and more independent over time.

There are many reasons why people don’t like to ask for help.

One is we think we should be able to do everything for ourselves.

We feel like if we ask others for help that we will look weak or needy.

We might fear rejection or are concerned with imposing on others.