The Private-School Decision

Since before he could even talk, I’ve been worrying about where to send my son to school.

I know that having a choice to make at all is a mark of status: I am part of a group of parents who have enough money, time, and education to decide what is best for our children.

And the fact that I can make a choice means that I can make the wrong one.

So whenever I meet an educated Black parent, I inevitably ask for their advice about school.

I remember one person answering, “We took the Nikole Hannah-Jones approach.” I knew exactly what he meant.

A decade ago, I read the cover story Nikole wrote for The New York Time s Magazine about her and husband’s struggle to decide where to send their daughter, Najya, to school.

They ended up putting her in a “high-poverty, all-black school” because they believed that middle-class families had a responsibility to such neglected institutions.

Parents like them could advocate for less fortunate students.

And, she wrote, “I also knew that we would be able to make up for Najya anything the school was lacking.” This week, she published a new article, in which she wrestles honestly with her daughter’s feelings of anger and loss about spending years in schools that failed her.

In the end, she writes, she agreed to let her daughter go to any high school she wants—no matter how selective and segregated.

I have always admired Nikole’s writing, and over the years, she has become a confidant and friend.

Although many on the internet have accused Nikole of sacrificing her daughter for her ideals, I think she’s courageous.

Still, as my son approaches school age, I realize that I could never make the choice she made.

I know too well what can go wrong.