Experts weigh in on possible reasons behind parents harming their children

In recent years, South Africa has witnessed a disturbing rise in cases of filicide, where parents harm or kill their own children, with mental health experts expressing shock at the frequency of these cases.

In recent years, South Africa has witnessed a disturbing rise in cases of filicide, where parents harm or kill their own children, with mental health experts expressing shock at the frequency of these cases.

The POST spoke to experts shed light on filicide, looking at possible underlying motivations and warning signs that can be observed by relatives and neighbours.

Dr Guru Kistnasamy, a psychologist, said he was “shocked” by the recent “unbelievable” case of filicide following the death of a three-year-old girl from Chatsworth.

The child’s mother was recently charged with murder, assault with intent to do grievous bodily harm, and child neglect following the death in 2023.

Kistnasamy said the media had exposed several cases of children being killed by strangulation, poisoning, hanging, or being beaten to death.

He said research showed that the underlying factors in those killings were often personal and interpersonal relationship problems, where the parent may be socially isolated by choice, or experiencing extreme financial problems.

“The parent may also have a low intellectual capacity, be depressed, be experiencing ongoing abuse themselves, and have some mental illnesses or psychosis,” said Kistnasamy.

He said the possible causes of filicide included extreme anger or rage made worse by being a narcissistic personality type, or revenge, where one parent wanted to hurt the other by harming the children.

“Other factors include bitter separations or divorces where the wife or husband is deprived of financial support, and exposed to shame and humiliation; or rejection where one is experiencing ongoing abuse, humiliation, and is clearly unwanted.”

Kistnasamy said abuse of children was easy to spot by relatives and neighbours.

“Red flags are physical, emotional or sexual abuse of partners of their children, and children who cry most of the time or are locked in their homes. Children who bear physical scars of the abuse or who withdraw or stop attending school are also a sign that the child should be checked on.

“Abuse occurs where husband and wife often argue bitterly, leading to verbal and physical abuse. The problem is that the abuse is only known when a child dies.

“In cases where there is abuse of one partner or the presence of a narcissistic partner, the likelihood of harming children is high. Addiction to alcohol and drugs is also a red flag. The addicted parent often has selective amnesia about the abuse.