Football Daily | The Premier League soap opera is back – and Spurs are already hogging the narrative

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now! While the opening round of Premier League fixtures hasn’t yet concluded, Football Daily can’t be alone in having jerked both knees to the point of dislocation based on the evidence of what little we’ve seen thus far.

Newly-promoted Hull City look the most likely contenders to challenge Arsenal for the title.

Ipswich Town’s Julio Enciso already looks a shoo-in for the Ballon d’Or.

Eddie Howe will be head coach of Manchester United by the end of the next international break – if Aston Villa don’t nab him first.

And judging by James Trafford’s endearingly heartfelt post-match soliloquy on Match of the Day, Leeds United’s gain is very much the Royal Shakespeare Company’s loss.

Oh, Spurs.

Last year’s relegation of West Ham and Wolves had them starting at the foot of the no-points, alphabetical order league table.

Then some early promise – without even kicking a ball, by 5pm on Saturday they had risen up a whole quarter of the table, to 15th.

The real problems set in when they started actually kicking a ball (or trying to)” – Phil Taverner.

It probably won’t happen (he says, trying to tempt fate), but Spurs finishing 17th and winning their first trophy since 2008 and their first European trophy since 1984 and firing their manager, mate , then proceeding to finish 17th but without a trophy and then spending £400m , just to finish 18th and get relegated, would be the most peak Spursy moment in football history.

If they do ‘achieve’ it, I’d give them the Ballon D’or Men’s Team of the Year award ” – Noble Francis.

After Hull’s dead-ball demolition of an increasingly expensive Manchester United, I notice they’re sponsored by McVities.

Can I be the first to suggest the headline ‘Half Man Half Biscuit’?” – Kev McCready (and no others).

This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily.