The midlife clock is ticking: How we understand ‘time left’ can help us use it well

Feeling that time may be limited can create a sense of urgency to act now, to reconnect, show solidarity and rebuild social ties. (Unsplash/Maria Oswalt) In Adaptation and the Life Cycle , psychologist Bernice Neugarten tells us that we arrive in our middle years by our social clocks, not our age For many people, as Neugarten theorized, this means milestones like meeting a life partner, buying a home or having a family.

A carefully crafted career trajectory earns us an increasing scope of work that might even distract us from changes in appearance or bodily function.

In theory, milestones follow a “socially prescribed timetable for the ordering of major life events.” They unfold at certain ages, roughly predictably.

Our “social clocks” tick in tempo, to usher us into our middle years.

At this stage of life, theoretically, we have had time to breathe, to build mental catalogues of tried strategies and real-life outcomes.

We become masters of our own time, making seamless decisions, taking things as they come and getting whatever work needs to be done.

We help an adult child keep on track.

We are seldom fazed, nor dissuaded.

Mastering time In our middle years, we are caregivers of parents, partners, even adult children , likely well occupied with paid work and volunteering .

Psychologist Margie Lachman conceives of across-generation roles and responsibilities, often in multiples, as a source of accomplishment, even mastery in midlife.

Masters are typically not daunted or driven by life’s complexities.

They are far busier breathing, thumbing through own coping catalogues, finding reasonable solutions Masters of their own time are however not made of armour.

Events arising unexpectedly, especially if negative (for example, a child dying before a parent) can derail them.

These types of events lack rhyme and reason, leave us ill-prepared, in limbo, even shattering continuity in the life course .