Ex-waitress reveals restaurant tipping secret most customers don't realize — expert calls it 'bad hospitality'

Mel Robbins learned an unusual lesson about earning big tips when she worked as a waitress: Pay attention to the women at the table.

The bestselling author and podcast host recently recalled advice from a "mentor-boss" at the Red Rooster Tavern in Michigan about figuring out who really influences the gratuity .

"She told me when I started waitressing the secret to getting a good tip: Understanding who has influence over who gives you the good tip," Robbins told The Wall Street Journal.

SHAKE SHACK CUSTOMER HITS 'NO TIP' AT KIOSK, THEN WATCHES PRICES JUMP IN VIRAL VIDEO Most might assume that if a man picks up the check, he's also deciding the tip.

But Robbins said her mentor taught her otherwise.

"What happens when the check comes and you've had a really good server? What happens often is the women turn to their partners and say, 'She was great.

Give her a good tip,'" Robbins recalled, adding that she learned "to ignore the men and to completely take fabulous care of the women." Robbins may be onto something about the social dynamics surrounding a tip — although hospitality and etiquette experts caution against ignoring anyone at the table.

"I don't entirely disagree," Robert Mahon, managing partner of New York-based Mahon Hospitality Group, told Fox News Digital.

"In my experience, when a man is paying, the woman will often have the final judgment on the service and may suggest the tip." AUTOMATIC TIP OR SERVICE CHARGE? NEW STATE LAW REQUIRES RESTAURANTS TO TELL DINERS BEFORE THEY ORDER But, he added, focusing solely on the women and ignoring the men is "just bad hospitality." "We would never encourage a server to show favoritism," Mahon said.

Instead, Mahon said skilled servers pay attention to the dynamics of the entire group.

"The best servers read the whole table," Mahon said.

"Regardless of gender, people naturally respond to someone who is friendly and engaging.

Ultimately, big tips come from making everyone at the table feel well-looked-after." CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR OUR LIFESTYLE NEWSLETTER Research suggests there is more psychology behind a generous tip than simply providing good service.

In one experiment, communication researchers John S.