Obsessing about being a good person can backfire. There’s a better way.

Editor’s note, September 20, 8 am ET: We’re bringing you some of our best-loved Your Mileage May Vary columns while Sigal Samuel is on parental leave.

The one below was originally published last September.

This unconventional advice column offers you a unique framework for thinking through moral dilemmas.

It’s based on value pluralism: the idea that each of us has multiple values that are equally valid but that often conflict with each other.

Submit your own question here .

The Jewish High Holidays are coming up, and that includes Yom Kippur.

It’s a holiday that encourages people to reflect on their behavior and make amends.

That’s all well and good, but I’m someone who struggles with scrupulosity — constantly worrying about my morality and if I’m doing The Most Possible Good ™ .

In practice this is far more paralyzing than motivating.

Fixating on the ethical implications of all possible decisions makes it harder to take any action, and I’ve lost hours scouring my memories of my past behavior for immorality like a football player watching footage of their games to analyze what they could do differently.

Guilt simply isn’t serving me, but I worry that saying to hell with all that means I’ll stop striving to be a better person and become morally complacent.

I’ve observed Yom Kippur for decades, and don’t want to simply avoid the day.

But the holiday is a moral scrupulosity trigger.

How do you think I should approach this? I want to stop feeling guilty for letting guilt get in my own way.