Flirting Is a Lost Art

—CSA-Printstock—Getty Images Last year, at a party, I bumped into a handsome guy who I had met the month before at a yoga event.

After exchanging pleasantries at the bar, he said, “You look very nice today.” I said thanks and turned my back to him to continue speaking to my friend who was next to me, listening in on our conversation.

“What are you doing? He is obviously your type and he was trying to flirt with you!” she said.

I was so confused.

I didn’t pick up on any signals and assumed it was just polite conversation.

I don’t know how to flirt, and I can rarely tell if someone is flirting with me—and I’m not alone.

Recently, I attended an online class on being single and navigating dating in the current climate.

The therapy group had people from all over the world, some in their 20s and some in their 30s or 40s.

Two topics stayed consistent regardless of age or geography.

The first was that people were fed up with the fact that no one approaches each other or makes the first move.

The second was that no one knows how to do so themselves Today, many daters are fluent in texting but far less comfortable with ambiguity, rejection, and face-to-face social risks.

Now, relationship therapists, psychologists, and cultural commentators warn we are at risk of losing the fine art of flirting.

Digital culture can take part of the blame.

“We’re living in a culture that is more digitally connected than ever before, and many people are getting less used to having everyday spontaneous face-to-face interactions,” says Victoria Wren, a therapist based in the U.K.