Tallying

I tally the dead.

I tally today’s dead.

I seek a tally of the dead or seek yesterday’s dead.

I try to count them, the dead.

Reports tell me there are, today, more dead.

I announce the dead—the house is quiet.

I try to count.

I seek numbers.

I provide numbers.

I wake trying.

I cover myself in numbers, trying to keep still.

I seek some stillness beyond the dead—I try to just manage.

I tally the dead, each pair of lungs, I wander through numbers, the daffodils nevertheless fly up.

I hide the numbers, paper over what I know.