Grieving lost body function: What psychology teaches us about our chronic illness journeys

Body changes can raise disturbing feelings, such as looking in a mirror and seeing a reflection that may feel spiritually empty, unproductive, ugly or weak.

Unpleasant sensations such as pain, pins and needles, soreness coursing through limbs and an inexplicable fog filling the head are a reminder that this body is not the same you anymore , prompting us to wish there was a way to get back there.

It may feel impossible to live well unless you do.

This is the disillusionment that most of the population will face at some point in life, through aging, chronic pain or invisible illness (a disease or health problem that cannot be externally seen, including autoimmune diseases, chronic pain and fatigue, and recently, long COVID).

Chronic pain, illness and aging Recent global estimates suggest one in five people are currently experiencing chronic pain .

The most prevalent chronic pain reported by adults ages 75 and over includes low back pain and migraine, while tension-type headaches are more often experienced by younger adults.

Chronic illness (diabetes, heart disease and other mid-to-late-life diagnoses) affects about three-quarters of the world population .

Despite how common chronic illness is worldwide, the nuances of navigating a changing body are not often discussed.

It’s time for an honest, evidence-based conversation about what it means to navigate chronic pain and illness, aging and transforming identity post-diagnosis, and how to grieve this loss and maintain meaning through these changes.

Why it matters: What grief looks like Research suggest that those with internalized stigma of chronic illness are more preoccupied with how their illness detracts from their view of themselves, and also have a greater tendency to overlook positive aspects of life with a chronic illness.

Psychologists have observed how preoccupation with illness or pain is often accompanied by other grief behaviours.

A 2025 study explored how Danish chronic illness patients navigated loss and growth.

The study found that many with chronic illness find themselves mourning the life that they thought they would have, often leading to loss of motivation and joy in everyday life.

The perception of losing the life they had once envisioned is often accompanied by a focus on getting back to the “before illness” version of themselves as people struggle to accept how their body has changed, perhaps in how it looks but definitely in how it feels.