Has gentle parenting gone too far?

To be or not to be a gentle parent? That is the question.

There is so much controversy these days about gentle parenting.

What is it, and what is it not? Recent Canadian and international headlines provocatively told us about a toddler holding up an airplane because they refused to get into their seat and have their seatbelt fastened .

Is this a case of gentle parenting gone awry or is it simply a child experiencing a genuine panic attack? Who knows, but it has certainly sparked the imagination and intense debate, including among parents.

Read more: Is your child stressed, restless, hyperactive? They might be suffering from sensory processing issues At its core, true gentle parenting is a model that combines high emotional warmth with clear boundary setting.

This approach is firmly grounded in the psychological framework of authoritative parenting .

But what does this mean? Decades of robust developmental research demonstrate that children raised by parents who balance emotional warmth with clear, consistent boundaries thrive.

They achieve significantly better outcomes in their emotional development, self-regulation and social and cognitive development.

Balancing warmth and boundaries To truly understand this concept, we have to look at it in historical context.

The view of parenting as an active verb is a relatively recent phenomenon.

As Alison Gopnik brilliantly explores in her 2016 book, The Gardener and the Carpenter , child-rearing used to be seen simply as something you did.

It just happened naturally, heavily supported by the broader community.

Read more: It takes a village: How community can be a lifeline for improving child and family well-being However, around the 1970s, shifting workforce dynamics and societal changes transformed parenting into an active, high-pressure verb.

Out came the expert-driven guidebooks, shifting many parents’ collective mindset from trusting our guts as responsive adults to an anxious belief that parenting must be executed just so.